As part of my healing process I’ve been writing letters to different aspects of my Self that need resolution. So far I have published a complete series to “The Panicked One.” Another series to “The Guarded One” is in progress.
Recently, I embarked on a series of letters to “The Critical One.”
I know I am not the only person who struggles with this miserable character, so I have opted to publish these letters in an ongoing occasional series of posts as well as store them in their own page in the menu.
If The Critical One stands in the way of your self-expression and dreams I hope you will find this even mildly cathartic.
I welcome any constructive and positive feedback.
From: Dear Me: A Collection of Letters Addressed to Various Aspects of My Self … ©Dorothy Chiotti, Aimwell CreativeWorks 2013
The date of each letter is the actual date it was written as a free writing, and freeing, exercise.
Herewith the first two letters to …
The Critical One
Perhaps one of the most devious and undermining aspects that requires addressing is The Critical One.
In fact, it’s hardly worth addressing the other aspects and hoping they’ll heal without also taking to task this damaging menace.
July 5, 2013
Dear Critical One ~
That is a harsh name, isn’t it?
Is this why you are so unhappy?
It lends itself to your unforgiving and harsh assessment of The Creative One and The Guarded One your, dare I say, fairer sisters.
Are you bitter?
If so, why?
Who rained on your parade?
The Perfectionist? That cruel mistress of illusion?
Ah … this makes sense.
Really, you must learn to let her go. She is phoney ~ the weaver of lies; the standard bearer for the unattainable; the spinner of unhappiness.
How can you even listen to her?
When you can let her go we shall re-name you to something more positive, softer like … not sure yet. We’ll need to think about that.
In the meantime, you have something to think about.
Perhaps, like your sister, The Panicked One, you should consider retiring.
You, like she, have exhausted yourself by serving as my “protector.” It’s time to release the manic need to control my interactions with life so as to keep me, supposedly and in your estimation, safe from, well, criticism, rejection and the like.
I can take care of my Self.
Please give this some serious thought. I have your, and my, best interests at heart and I can feel you need a permanent break.
I need a permanent break from you …
Pick an island. I’ll pay your one-way fare.
July 7, 2013
Dear Critical One,
You always seem to find a way to get in the way.
And I would love you away …
Surely you have exhausted your resources. Are you not yet spent in your need to nit pick everything I do, say, experience?
Your need to control these aspects of my life must surely end at some point. Aren’t you tired of having to be in control all the time?
Have you not yet learned to trust me?
If not, I wish you would.
In your effort to “protect” me from the criticism of others by undermining me first, you actually do more harm than good.
Let me enlighten you …
Every time you nit pick, second guess, question, dismantle, dissect and just plain destroy my self-expression you destroy a part of me. You curtail my confidence, stifle my voice so I can barely hear myself never mind engage my thoughts, feelings and opinions with others.
While you maintain the stance of being helpful you’re actually being counter-productive.
Sometimes I think you must actually dislike me to be so cruel.
Why are you so cruel?
What did I ever do to you?
You don’t protect me. You prevent me.
And don’t harp on about the past. The past is just that ~ past. Gone. No longer relevant to who I am, or who you are today.
You need to adopt a new attitude ~ an attitude of acceptance. In fact, I would be happy to anoint you as The One Who Accepts if it would help you to see yourself differently. Wouldn’t you like to see yourself in a more positive light?
Please … relax your need to cling to the lies The Perfectionist has whispered so manipulatively into your ear.
She is not your friend.
She is our enemy.
The Perfectionist weaves her web of lies and ensnares the unsuspecting and you, dear Critical One, are just such a victim. The lies she tells you are the lies you unload on me … and I’m not taking it anymore!
So, wake up before it’s too late, before you are so deeply bound by The Perfectionist’s deception that there is no escape for either of us.
You don’t need to be a victim, and I don’t need to be victimized by you.
I can help you to be free. And the amazing thing is that once you are free I am too.
Kiss The Perfectionist goodbye and walk with me in the more supportive role of The One Who Accepts.
It’s never too late to let go of the damaging old ways and embrace new affirming ones.
You can trust me on this …
To be continued …
©Dorothy Chiotti, Aimwell CreativeWorks 2013
4 thoughts on “The Critical One: The First and Second Letters in a Series …”
This is excellent Dorothy, so very well written and captures the “Critical One” so well. That cruel mistress of illusion, Perfectionist, I know her all too well. Thank you.
Thanks, Mike. … This is an interesting journey for me, trying to get the Critical One to back off. Very mindful. I’ll post the next instalment some time next week. … I knew I was not alone … 😉
Wow Dorothy, I could take some lessons in thought from you. I love this idea as well as the words you chose…
“I would love you away …” That is so strong and positive and gives an insight into how we all should think when we are in an unenviable position.
“You don’t protect me. You prevent me,” rings true and shows you have spent much time looking inward and have an understanding of self beyond the norm. It is a moving and deeply intimate piece. I am very glad to have stumbled across your path. I am touched by your post.
Love, Equanimity, Peace – TimurZ