“I don’t understand you. What are you saying?”
The delinquent one stares me down with vacancy in his eyes. It’s as if I’m looking at a ghost; an empty shell of a man I once knew who is no more. He’s returned following weeks away studying for his masters degree. It’s Christmas break, and my birthday, and he’s made this haunting pronouncement.
“I don’t know if I love you anymore. I don’t know if I’ve ever really loved you.”
The world I know is crumbling beneath my feet.
“What? What do you mean?” I clutch the bannister for support.
“I haven’t thought about you at all while I’ve been away. You don’t mean anything to me anymore.”
Now the room is spinning.
Five years! Five years of my life; my heart; my devotion given to a man who doesn’t know if he’s ever really loved me. My knees wobble. What is happening? After all that I’ve done. All that I’ve sacrificed. What have I been living? An illusion? Did I marry an ideal and not a man?
“I can’t be here,” I mutter to myself. Brush past him and run upstairs. Slam the door to our room, throw myself on the non-marital bed. He’s been home two days and detonated a bomb of lies in my heart. I am blown away by his deceit. My carefully protected world falling in shrapnel pieces about me.
A torrent of pain floods the plains of my face as my mind spins with the surreal knowledge I am not loved. Not loved by a man who’d said for years he’d loved me.
Lies!! All lies ~ the memory of which tears at what’s left of my broken heart and plunges me into an abyss of despair the depths of which cannot be measured.
And he’s so not worth it.
In my experience life appears surreal after some kind of shock, good or otherwise, to the system.
I’ve known both. This fictional rendition of a real event is the first that came to mind.
Thanks for visiting …
©Dorothy Chiotti … Aimwell CreativeWorks 2015