When we embark on our healing journey it’s a bold step. We are energized by the idea that with appropriate professional help we can wrap our past up in a neat little package and fire it off into a universe where we need never meet up with it again.
And perhaps if we did not think this way we would never take that first liberating step toward a new way of being.
The truth is, while we travel the bumpy road to wholeness we bump into our old selves all the time. With guidance and growing strength we are able to tip our hat to that old part of ourselves and keep moving on.
Sometimes, however, we can get stuck in that old place ~ that old way of being that says we aren’t good enough; no one cares; you belong in the shadows; asks “who the hell do you think you are?” … and on.
I’ve been going through a bit of that lately, and have remained largely silent as a writer because of it. These moments get in the way of my creativity and my sense of place in the world.
Today, however, following an intense tête à tête with my amazing therapist yesterday, I’m ready to step out of that malaise and get on once again.
Doing my best to remove that broken record from the turntable of my life.
Herewith a verse inspired by this experience.
Enjoy and thanks for visiting …
Dorothy
~*~
Broken Record
Old familiar
Broken place
I let you go …
Honestly!
Yet, here you are …
Again, like some
Broken record
I’d forgotten.
The needle slipped
To a broken,
Repetitive
Debilitating
Groove
That torments,
Taunts and
Irritates until
I can no longer
Bear your
Broken voice
Telling me over
And over how
Broken I was
And still am …
Am … Am … Am …
Not!
Enough!
I remove the needle
That pierces my
Broken soul
And smash that
Broken record of
My Self. It is
No longer my
Truth. Time to
Dance to a
Different tune.
Play on!
~*~
©Dorothy Chiotti, All Rights Reserved 2013
Shedding Light on the Family Tree 
My mini-me, lives in my head with a negative limited vocabulary; can’t, shouldn’t have, loser, not again, don’t bother … but such a damn loud voice for such ab unfinished personality. Talking over the chatter and repetitive noise does get so tiring. Fight on!
It can be wearying, that’s for sure. And I’m so grateful when I can finally move beyond these debilitating moments and get on with healing again. Those old voices and expectations sure know how to hang on. And I’ll continue my quest to shake them off … 😉 … Thanks for stopping by … Dorothy 🙂